Love & Friendship Edition | What Matters More Than Being Likable
Relationships & Love Edition | Discover the Way You Are Meant to Speak
This is the Friends & Love Edition of the "Communication" series.
Did you choose the correct path?
People who struggle with conversations and communication are often more likely to find themselves on this side of the journey.
But before we begin, I want to make one thing clear.
What awaits you here is the discovery of a way of speaking that feels truly like you.
A way of speaking that is comfortable for you.
A way of speaking that belongs to you.
This is not a place to discover:
A way of speaking that everyone likes.
A way of speaking that makes your crush fall for you.
A way of speaking that guarantees popularity.
If that is what you're looking for, you would probably be better off reading books about communication skills or dating techniques first.
Although personally, I'm not entirely sure whether a relationship built that way can truly be called friendship or love.
The Conclusion I Eventually Reached
To be honest, I've never been particularly good at relationships.
More accurately,
I used to try too hard to understand what other people were thinking.
I worried too much.
I paid too much attention to everyone else's feelings.
And eventually, I exhausted myself.
The more I studied astrology and tried to understand the stars, the more I arrived at one simple conclusion:
There is no point in constantly changing yourself to match someone else.
Trying to Become Someone's Ideal Type
Let's say you fall in love with someone.
Naturally, you might start thinking:
"I want to become the type of person they like."
So you study them.
You learn their preferences.
You copy the gestures they like.
The way they like people to talk.
The way they like people to behave.
You work hard to become that person.
But then let me ask you something.
How long can you keep that up?
At some point, it will become exhausting.
Because that version of you was never really yours.
It's a borrowed identity.
One that was built specifically to gain someone's approval.
This Isn't Just About Communication
Of course, this isn't only about the way you speak.
It's about relationships as a whole.
Relationships built by suppressing who you are and constantly adapting yourself to others will eventually reach their limit.
So why not start from the opposite direction?
Why not be yourself from the beginning?
Why not treasure the people who choose to stay anyway?
Personally, I believe that is what happiness in relationships actually looks like.
Sometimes Relationships Improve
Interestingly enough, when you start using your stars properly and allow yourself to become more authentic, relationships can actually improve.
Of course, compatibility still exists.
Preferences still exist.
Some people will leave.
That part is unavoidable.
But in exchange, relationships that were maintained through effort and self-suppression often begin to sort themselves out naturally.
And one day you may find yourself thinking:
"Huh... I feel lighter somehow."
The relationships that felt restrictive begin to disappear.
You Don't Need to Become a More Lovable Version of Yourself
That is why I don't want you to aim to become a more lovable version of yourself.
I want you to become a more authentic version of yourself.
If love comes as a result of that, wonderful.
But the order matters.
First, be yourself.
Then let relationships follow.
That is the philosophy I personally believe in.
Coming Next
Next, we will finally begin decoding your Mercury and uncovering your unique communication style.
Before we do that, however, there is one topic I want to touch on first.
Because we're talking about communication, we should probably discuss something many people worry about:
Being blunt.
If you've ever thought:
"People always tell me my way of speaking is too harsh..."
Then start here:
If nothing in particular comes to mind, head here instead: